NIK AIDIL ~ 21st March 1993

Children are a blessing...
Welll.....it was 4 days before hari raya Aidil Fitri..he too can't wait and have to see what the world has to offer him. I think what he said isss I have to come out..I want to see..how daddy, mummy and my sister looked like...






The doctors have tried to turn him around so that I could deliver him normal but he push his head on top and that's where I need to have a ceasarean..potong....oh God..even as a baby he has to show who's the boss?oh dear...and I have to bayar puasa for 4days..lucky me!!

He's so much like his father...the walk ( like itek pulang petang ),the looks,the behaviour or maybe he's slightly a bit better than his father...His behaviour changes every year towards his growing up. I remember when he was 4yrs old and we went to the "pasar malam" he showed his best self by crying out so loud for wanting toys that he already have in his room. I left him alone there and he came back home "safely" by himself and to my surprise he asked for an apology.....there's softness in his heart...I felt relieved because I thought he would have lost...well... the thing is...the pasar malam is right infront of our house..tak jauh pun but hati tu takut juga...

One day when I picked him up at the nursery and when the car stop at a junction...he opened the car door and went out by himself...tantrums ...again...I don't know what makes him do that but when I managed to catch the young man and I asked him nicely what is the matter?he said the nursery teacher locked him and his friends in a room without giving them to play anything. I went to the nursery and confronted the teacher and filed a complaint to the owner of the nursery. You can't keep the children in a room without giving them to play and it's wrong to stop the childrens being active. Children are children..let them play.

As time passes.....whenever there are new things on the road..mountain bike..bmx...trx...you name it..he wanted it. Without waiting for us to buy him the bike..he bought it himself with his allowance money.Although we would always gave our children what they've wanted but it would based on their school performances.

When he got 1st in his class, we gave him a small black and white tv that cost RM50,I thought he's happy with it but he's not.He kept "mengungkit" all the time. Upbeat and happy one minute, moody and sulking the next...That .... is Nik Aidil Fikri...

Now,, he is 17yrs old..his interest has changed and there's a lot of bicycles at the porch minus the one we have given away to our former neighbour, Kisho. Guest what his new interest is? what else if it's not motorbike. Last year during the school holiday, his father asked him to take the License and lucky he passed.

Then just recently I took him to an old friends wedding...after eating,he wants to wait in the car to play with his PSP..okay..at least I have an extra time talking and meeting with more old friends.My hubby talked to my friends hubby and while we were chit chatting..he called asking for how long do I need to be there..I said give me more time..and he said..ok..take your time mom..how glad I am to hear that..buut when we were about to leave...we looked for the car and it's no where around the parking place...oh dear..my hearts beating faster than ever..He said he have to drive the car because a garbage lorry could not move and our car obstructing the road.AND HE DROVE THE CAR!!!!

Last year he got a place studying at Sek.Men.Teknik Gombak and major in Mechanical engineering. There he go flying off like a little bird. Lot of kids go off to college,but they don't last ( just like NIK AIDIL FIKRI ). He get homesick. Start coming home all the time..complaining of a headache..stomach ache..aching here and there. I got fed up with his excuses and I said once and for all..you want to be in that school or you do not ?give me an answer..I dont raise children to be manja and if you want to be manja biar kena pada tempatnye...so...finally he put a stand and firm decision that he would change..unlike his sister,bringing him up can be daunting at times.

Indeed,he have changed..more murtured in his thinking and more understanding.

Dear Nik Aidil Fikri bin Mohd Bauzi,we love you ( mom,dad and your sis )for better or for worse we would always be together...we pray that you would be an engineer as your career but we would support you all the way if you want to be a chef too..whatever would be ,would be...the future is not ours to see but it's in the hands of ALLAH.

Happy birthday..sweet 17.....my young man...WE LOVE YOU....

A WEEK OF RECHARGED

The soft beauty of the early morning offered comforts or it seems comfortable enough. The stars still shine,and flowers still perfume the air,ahh yes...the smells of neighbours cooking nasi lemak,chicken curry and oh dear..did I smell kurma as well...Like a slap in the face in a way...it makes both of us hungry....

We did everyday..twice..walking without fail.We didn't loose weight..probably the penimbang iteew rosak.Imtiaz said,buy digital lah kak...oka..next month's budget...but I think we've burnt a few calories..hehehe

Our time spent together..Inhale..exhale...inhale...exhale...full of love....

1000hrs ~ My daughter drove back to campus

1130hrs ~ Reached Seremban Highway....

1500hrs ~ Arrived safely at Skudai...

Alhamdulilah...

THOSE WERE THE DAYS...

Those were the days where we could eat together,holiday together,fishing together and cooking together.

How come I didn't even remember of not finishing this diary?maybe it's not too late..after all we are still us and we are still here.....

There's a lot of things in my mind and I wish I could write the whole thing in here but I hold on to it for a little while until the situations are back to normal.

Today as I opened my facebook an old friend found me...and I'm glad. It seems that when you're not getting younger everyday..you just need to know how's your friends doing..your teachers who taught you in school and becoming what you are now...are they all still alive? are they doing well?..if so, it's okay but what if it isn't? how are we to know?...

I sincerely hope to hear more from friends and teachers...not because we want to go into the window of our past..it's just nostalgic..a memory. Although I tried to bury my past.... I felt it's a burden sometimes.

Why does people likes to being a busy body????why do they want to know so much what happens behind our closed doors?why?why...can't they just mind their own business???isk...isk..isk..

It sucks to be a centre of somebody's life!! and I'm the one person who hate making last minute arrangements..I'm not hard to control as long as a person handle me right.

There!!! I rest my case.

HILANG MOOOOD

An old friend called.We talked for almost an hour. The thing is..I could not remember what we were talking about or maybe I wish it to go away...Really! at first the conversation went smoothly,there are laughter,just like the good old days, but then suddenly a subject came out unpredictable.

She was asking how my half sister's doing?my half sisters????I told her I dont know and I dont care!!! but she's acting as reminder to me macam councillor la pulak.."eh you kena ambil tahu,it's your sisters as well"..my God. I felt the whole world collapsed around me.Who did she think she is?telling me to think of someone who have grabed the love of our LOVED ones....senang nye....!!!!

I dont feel like continuing that conversation anymore..not any more!!and if her phone number came out on the screen.I shall not answer! I gave an excuse that I have to go. Someone's at the door. The END.

WOMEN AND CHILDREN

The women in my life have been a huge influence in making who I am today..is...my mother and my daughter....

One day you thought you have done your best of bringing up your own children,but...when they grew up and have their own IDEAS of what they wanted to be...you are out of the picture!...

Being with when they were young ones...will always be a special occasion to me...

TOP OF THE WORLD 2

I thought I was getting somewhere but the truth is I was still nowhere...not close enough hmmmm...but then I saw the lights..yes..the lights of the security post..Yes! I'm almost at the top of the world ( eh..not really it's just Bukit Rawang Perdana hehehe )

After much sweat...

Finally....I'm there!

TOP OF THE WORLD

Everytime when I walked to the top of the hill I

say to myself..okay..this is it..until the security post cukup lah..than I must walk down but..when I reaches the security post the semangat of reaching on top of the hill suddenly membuak-buak in me...



This picture showed that I'm almost reaching at the security post...almoooost....haaah!

HUNGER

The house was quiet.
Outside,
the birds serenaded the lowering sun.
There was nothing but that one moment....

I love cooking but it sucks if I cook only for one person..
So..I hang back the pan..
and took a bus to town....

The smells of dhal and curry...
The Rendang and asam pedas tenggiri
McD'sss and KFC'ssss
My stomach became greedy..
everything I want to be in me...

THE BATTLE OF THE GRANNY's

Last week my sis called.As always,we would greet each other,talk about our family and our life..I asked how's her grandchildren doing? and then..her story begin...



My sister lost her son two years ago.He's the eldest among 7 siblings and a wonderful person. His job needs him to travel a lot and that one particular day..he met with an accident that took his life away. He was married for only 5 months and leaves a young pregnant wife.His death was a blow to everyone in the family.Both father (deceased) and son (now he's almost 2years old) would never know each other.



Sometime my sis and her hubby would visit his daughter in law (former) and took their grandson into town for trips and treats. Grandson would love to eat ice cream and fast food,grandma and granddad would buy toys and some new clothes untuk cucunya iteww. It all went well untill her former daughter in law remarried.

Well,my sister former in-laws starts to have the change of heart. From the good in laws they became the out-laws. Recently they went to visit the grandson,the former in-law would not even let the boy's grand parents ( my sister and her hubby ) to talk to him or then again to let them takes him out for jalan-jalan and makan angin...

Yang bestnye pulak tu...my sis out-law kata kalau nak tengok cucu mereka tu kena bagi duit seribu dulu...aiik..apa nak jadi nie? sampai bertikam lidah pulak tu...fulamak...ini macam pun ada...alahai....

People could change easily...somehow my sister and her hubby managed to be adult enough to be polite and not to drag anyone else into their battles.

It certainly wouldn't be an easy or happy situation anymore for my sister and hubby..but life has to go on....

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE AND THAT FEELINGS

Some people define success differently.They measure success by the size of salary,the number and kind of properties and vehicles one owns,and the amount of shares or fund one has.

I see success as having the opportunity to do what I am interested in and what means the most to me at a point of my life.

I didn't have much in common with those around me.When my women friend talked about shopping for clothes,I sat thinking about my children. No one seemed to understand me. I could understand their points of view but I couldn't think like them. They were all pretty boring or I am a boring person to them....

Since I became a homemaker, I left many circles of friends because I didn't fit in. Very few understood but are they being realistic?or just to make me happy.

I look at myself in the mirror and see a woman very different from the one I looked thirty years ago.

I smile at the women in the mirror and she smiles back at me. I feel comfortable with what I see and feel comfortable with my life now as it is...Thank you GOD,Thank you ALLAH..

Alhamdulilah....

PAID TV

While waiting for CSI Miami might as well write something in my blog.TV keep repeating the same show and it's frustrating.I dont know when are they going to start to air the new season of The McCleod's Daughters,The Leverage,Numbers,Shark. There are many great movies and drama out there but.....